Approaching the School
- How should I approach the school?
- What if the bullying continues?
- Understanding the school’s responses to bullying incidents
- Understanding discipline at school
If your child is being bullied at school it is vital that you work with his or her teachers to find a solution. Always discuss things with your child before you take action. If you don't do this you might damage your relationship with your child.
How should I approach the school?
- Make a time to see the teacher who has the most contact with your child, e.g. home room teacher, or the head of year at your secondary school.
- Make a note of everything you know about the bullying before you speak to the teacher so you don’t forget to mention any important points.
- Read the school's anti-bullying policy. If you don’t have one already ask to see a copy.
- Remember this may be the first time the teacher has heard about the bullying and remember that your child may not have told you all the facts.
- Ask the teacher to outline what he or she suggests would be the best way of sorting it out.
- Ask what action the school intends to take according to the policy.
- Arrange to contact the school again so you can discuss any action that has been proposed.
- After the meeting, you may wish to make a note of anything that has been decided and to give a copy to the teacher.
What if the bullying continues?
Bullying in school can only be resolved if parents, teachers and pupils work together to find a solution. However, sometimes parents and pupils are not satisfied with the way that schools deal with their worries. If you are in this situation here are some things you can do.
- Ask yourself if you have given the school sufficient time to deal with the matter. Bullying can be complex and difficult to solve.
- Keep a diary of what your child says is happening.
- Write a note to the teacher explaining the problem is still unresolved. Make an appointment to see the teacher as soon as possible.
- If you are not happy with a teacher's response, do not give up. Speak to someone else—perhaps another teacher or the head teacher.
- Schools will generally do their best to deal with bullying. However, there may be cases where schools cannot resolve problems. For example, if bullying takes place outside school, it may be difficult for a school to deal with it. In such cases where the school is unable to act, or in cases of serious assault or harassment, then you should contact the police.
Understanding the school’s responses to bullying incidents
If your school is implementing the Friendly Schools & Families Program they will be developing a whole-school response to reducing and preventing bullying in the school. This will include promotion of common understandings about what bullying is and how to deal with it as well as how to develop and encourage good social skills and supportive behaviours and attitudes.
The Australian National Safe Schools Framework asks that schools develop, implement, monitor and review anti-bullying plans/policies. This framework recognises that teachers, students, parents, caregivers and members of the wider community have a responsibility to work together to address bullying. It provides information for school community members to identify bullying behaviours and provides clear procedures to report bullying. Anti-bullying policies include strategies used by the school to deal effectively with bullying behaviour.
Parents and caregivers can support the policy by:
- Assisting their teenagers to understand and identify bullying behaviour as outlined in the school’s anti-bullying policy.
- Responding to incidents of bullying in a manner consistent with the school’s anti-bullying policy.
- Supporting all students in the school to deal effectively with bullying through strategies in the anti-bullying policy.
- Whenever the anti-bullying policy at your child's school is reviewed, think about contributing your ideas to the consultation process.
For more information on how your school manages bullying incidents, please ask the school administration for a copy of the anti-bullying policy.
What happens if bullying incidents occur at school?
Bullying incidents are often complicated situations, so finding out the facts to define a clear account of the incident(s) can take a bit of time. Meanwhile the bullying can continue and in some cases get worse. Punishment may sometimes be used however, this is rather like using ‘bullying to stop bullying’. The Friendly School’s priority is to stop the bullying and to try to reduce the chance of it happening again.
The key to stopping bullying is getting students to talk about what is happening and decide what to do to make the situation better for everyone. This approach aims to raise empathy towards the person bullying, teach the child bullying to use appropriate behaviours and to stop the bullying.
Understanding discipline at school
The aim of discipline should be to guide teenagers to take responsibility for their own behaviour.
What happens at school?
Schools generally have a behaviour management plan designed to create a positive and safe school environment. These plans are designed to encourage teenagers to take responsibility for their own actions and develop self-discipline. The behaviour management plan informs parents, teachers and students what is expected and outlines rewards and consequences of behaviour.
What can parents do?
By working in conjunction with the school, parents can provide their teenagers with consistent expectations and boundaries both at school and at home.
- When family rules have been set ask your teenager to tell you the rules in his or her words.
- Set consistent firm limits and rules. Teenagers like to know where they stand.
- Be consistent with consequences and rewards.
- Acknowledge good behaviour.
- Model desired behaviours to your teenager.
- Supervise your teenager so you know where he or she is and what he or she is doing.
- Become familiar with your school’s behaviour management plan so your teenager sees you are actively involved.
