I am Being Bullied

When the bullying is happening
If you are bullied by mobile phone, text messages or email
Who can I talk to?
Tips for Staying Safe
Teasing
Tips for taking the sting out of teasing

We know how awful bullying can be and how hard it can be to talk about it. We also know that there are things you can do to make it stop.

The first thing to know is that it is always the right thing to do to ask for help or support if you feel you can’t deal with the situation yourself.

Help right now!

What to do when the bullying is happening:

When the bullying is happening and you feel you can’t do anything to stop it follow these steps:

Stay calm and try not to act upset or angry. This is probably what the person bullying wants you to do.
Calmly remove yourself from the situation. Try to ignore the bullying by turning and walking away calmly.
If they try to stop or block you. Be firm and clear - look them in the eye and tell them to stop.
Don't fight back. If you fight back you could make the situation worse, get hurt, or be blamed for starting the trouble.
Get away from the situation as quickly as possible, and

Tell an adult what has happened straight away.

Download this information

If you are being bullied by mobile phone, text messages or email

Make a note of exactly when the message was sent and save it
Tell a parent or teacher straight away
Be careful who you give your mobile phone number or email address to.

Read more about cyber bullying

Who can I talk to if I am being bullied?

Don’t let the bullying go on. The school cannot do anything about the bullying if they don't know about it. Take a friend with you if you are a bit nervous about talking to a teacher.

Talk to your school support person
Talk to another teacher or a staff member you feel comfortable with.
Tell your parents or another adult you trust. Sometimes kids feel ashamed or stupid telling adults about bullying. Don't be. Usually your parents are the best people to tell because they will help you work out the best way to get the bullying to stop.
Talk to a friend or another student you trust. Ask for advice or just talk to them about how you feel.
If you school has one: Go into your school’s ‘School Support Online’ and write an entry. This is a great way to talk about your problem and get help straight away.

We understand that you might be scared but sharing the problem gives you someone to talk to and someone to help you to sort it out.

Remember: Telling someone that you are being bullied is NOT telling tales or dobbing.

Download this information

'Dobbing' is when a person tries to get attention or to get someone else into trouble.

‘Asking for help’ is when someone feels the situation is out of his or her control and he or she is unable to deal with it alone. If anyone sees someone else in this situation he or she should also ask for help.

Asking for help is always okay.

By telling someone you are helping protect others as well as yourself.

Bullying is scary and upsetting. It can sometimes make you feel as if it's your fault. It's not! There are things you can do. Here are some tips for staying safe.

Tips for staying safe

Avoid being alone. Try to stay in safe areas of the school at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other people. Avoid being alone in places you know the person bullying is likely to pick on you. This might put the person bullying off until you talk to an adult or find another solution to stop the bullying.
Staying calm. Practise what you'll do the next time it happens. Students who bully are trying to get a reaction. If you don't act upset or react the way they want you to, they might get bored and stop.
Don't be afraid to talk to an adult you trust (like your teacher or your parent) and keep talking to them even if you think the bullying has stopped. You can talk with them about how things are going.
On the school bus try to sit near the driver. If it's an ordinary bus sit by other adults.
Walking home. If you have to walk home and you're afraid of being ambushed, try taking different routes, try to leave home and school a bit later or a bit earlier, or see if you can walk with other people who live near you even if they're older or younger.
Think positively – remember you are a good person. Remind yourself of your strengths and the things you are good at.

This decisions making plan is helpful for some people to think through the situation for the best situation.

Download this information

Some students find it useful to have steps to remind them of what to do in a bullying situation. The Friendly Schools Think Plan Talk Do chart helps you decide what actions you should take.

Teasing

What is teasing?

Everyone wants to be popular and feel good about themselves. Sometimes people tease to make themselves look good to others. They try to make themselves look stronger and more powerful by picking on someone whom they believe is less powerful than they are. They think this makes them look good in the eyes of those around them.

A person is teasing when they provoke (stir up) someone, either in a playful or an unkind way. Sometimes people tease in a fun way and they don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Other times people tease in a mean way that upsets or hurts the feelings of the other person, and we call this bullying.

About teasing

'I was only teasing...'
'I didn't really mean to...'
'He made me do it'.
'She did it first'.
'It was only a bit of fun'.

How many of us have had someone say something cruel to us and then laugh and say, 'I was only kidding?' But the question is, did it hurt anyway? Yes, it probably did, but why does it hurt?

It hurts for several reasons:

We think that person doesn’t like us and we all want to be liked.
We don’t feel good about ourselves if we think someone doesn’t like us.
We believe what they are saying.

But does it really mean something bad about us when others feel a need to tease us? What it usually means is something bad about them. People who tease others are often having problems feeling good about themselves. They need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

People who tease are generally driven to continue teasing that person by the reaction they get.

Think about it

Evidence has shown when someone continues to tease you it’s not really about how you look, what size you are or any other physical differences, but about how you react. There are plenty of smart students, athletic students and attractive students who get teased, just as there are plenty of not-so-smart students, not-so-sporty students and not-so-attractive students that don’t get bullied.

The reason a student keeps bullying another student by teasing them is because they want that student to be upset and it is working. When the student reacts by getting upset or angry it makes the other student feel better about themselves. A student who teases another student about the way they look or their body shape or size doesn’t really care how the student looks, but they know that it is comments about appearance that are the most likely to upset the other student.

What can I say?

Sometimes just ignoring the person is the best way to deal with the situation as long as you try not to show them you are upset or worried. Often the person will get bored of not getting a response and give up. Sometimes they will keep going and trying to make you react. The best responses are those that show you really don’t care what they think or say, e.g.

‘I don’t really care what you think’
‘I’m not really interested’
‘Who cares?’
‘So?’

People who tease to make others feel miserable rely on the person they are teasing getting upset or angry and fighting back. This is the reaction they are looking for and this is what will keep them going.

Tips for Taking the Sting out of Teasing

BE COOL:

Stand up straight, speak clearly and look confident even if you aren’t. Make the person teasing think they are not bothering you and they are wasting their time trying to tease you.

STAY CALM AND NICE:

Be in control and don’t get nasty. If you are nasty to them you will be doing what they are doing and this will only make matters worse. By being nice, you are not responding the way they want you to and this may make them think twice about saying anything back.

DON’T SAY TOO MUCH:

Keep your words brief.

SPEAK AND MOVE ON:

Say your piece then walk away. The person teasing you will want to have the last word. Don’t allow this. Move away and ignore any other comments.

KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY:

If you find you are getting upset or scared then it is better to say nothing and simply walk away when someone teases you. This way the person will not see any reaction from you and you can get help from someone in your support group.

Download this information